I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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