it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
