only if we run a train.
done.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
