i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
