i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
