I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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