her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
