The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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