Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
