I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
