either way he was missing a nipple.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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