your thong is hanging out like whoa
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
