My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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