i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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