I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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