I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
