Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
