Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
