Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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