I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I checked into jail on foursquare
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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