I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
