oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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