he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
