I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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