I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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