How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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