Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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