That's intense
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
