I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
