i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
