I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
