Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Alive.
So much puke
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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