umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
