I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
