You really coming over, don't trick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
