We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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