party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
