Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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