Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
