Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
