This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
