Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
