I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
