i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
