God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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