I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
