I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He shit in the fireplace
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
