Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
