she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
