How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
