Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
